My last blog, which got endearing feed back from you guys - much thanks! - was about th most beloved word of English - 'Mother'
Now for the word that is most ridiculed, demeaned, mocked at - can you guess what it is? And I don't even need a survey to tell you this word; and as soon as i mention it a ful half of 'humankind' will agree with me instantly - that word is W-I-F-E.
Chinar, Jammy and especially Harry - I can see you snorting in disbelief. May be even some among the fairer sex, who are not yet married, will be skeptical; but let me expound further here. It is NOT that Men per se WANT to demean their wives; but it is what they have been conditioned to do - in fact THEY stand to be ridiculed if they don't fall in with the pattern.
Still don't agree? O.K. I'll give you a small test, just answer this Q -You know two gentlemen, both married - let's call them Ajay and Vijay. Both nice, helpful, interesting fellas to know, with one distinction.
Ajay is the epitome of chivalry, except when it comes to his wife. He is not down right rude to her - being a well brought up kind of a guy generally - but in public he takes CARE to treat his wife with what i have termed "loving contempt" He NEVER praises her, but is careful to constantly tell jokes at her expense - he'll say innane things like - " No, my wife does NOT take an hour to get ready - she can do it in 10 minutes, she just takes 50 minutes to decide WHAT do wear!" This is a gem, I heard just yesterday, from his mouth " I reassure Geeta ( my wife) that I NEVER sleep with other women - when with them, I stay AWAKE!"
Vijay, on the other hand, is the epitome of chivalry, specially with his wife. In private AND public he demonstrates himself to be a loving, tender, caring and most of all an appreciative hubby. On the dot of 8 - a.m. and p.m. - he'll fetch her, her BP medicine with a glass of water. When the Doctor put her on a new pill for her heart to be taken at 2 p.m. he set an alarm on his mobile phone to remind himself of this new duty too - if he is not around, he calls her as soon as the alarm sounds and asks her if she has remembered ----
Goes without saying that he never makes jokes at her expense when in company - on the other hand, he says things like " it was the luckiest day of my life when I married her " and, " I give all credit for my success to my wife - I could have done nothing without her..." He EVEN has the politeness to praise her cooking to others.
Now the Q is - what will the public comment be about these guys?? I bet you 9 out of 10 people of either sexes will say about Vijay, (while enjoying Ajay's jokes hugely) - A man should not be SO subseverient to his wife. This guy is HENPECKED. Some will even consider it bad manners that he goes on and on about wife and get offended!
Why is this so?
The simple answer is - since centuries 'Wise' men of all cultures, like Manu in our's, have 'taught' men to keep women in "their proper place" And crudely put, what is that place? Jooton ke neeche...
So a wife is to be most lovingly, but ALWAYS put down... nahi toh Equality ke claims shuru ho jayenge. I've heard many denizens of society explain, most sincerely, that the recent 'ills' of Society like abusing drugs and drinks, promiscuity, open homosexuality have all sprouted out of 'Women's lib'.
Isn't that SO like men? To treat their own wife thus while ALWAYS praising another man's wife to high skies; to wit, their father's!!!The most politically correct thing to say in the world is " My wife will never be able to cook like my mother!" ( And they wonder why sans and bahus never get along?)
The last point I'll leave you with is - But do women take this lying down?? NO - never. If there is one creature MORE despised sometime than a wife - it is a HUSBAND!!! The secret lies in never letting him let on. How does the wife do it? I'll tell you in my next blog, called - in the immortal quip of a friend " If a man has his will, a woman has her ways..."
